It was June 25th and the day had finally come to depart for Sean's homeland visit! Sean had arrived in America at only three months old and obviously had no memory of Korea. We had always made a point of teaching Sean about Korea. This trip would be a culmination of the best experiences we could provide. We had carefully planned just when to take this heritage tour of South Korea as it was important to us that Sean was the right age to experience this trip!
In order to plan, we had met with Becca Piper from the Ties group several times at the National Adoption Conference to discuss the tour logistics. We had asked what the "best" age was to visit a child's country of birth. Actually, there is no right or wrong answer. The real answer depends on your child and their level of maturity. We decided the best age for Sean would be 12 years old. Our purpose for this visit was to understand what South Korea was really like, , , the people, culture, and country. We were not trying to find his birthparents, but did request a meeting with his Foster Mother and a visit back to his city of birth.
Ties has a very well organized eleven day itinerary. About 32 families, support staff, social workers, and translators toured with our group. The kids ranged in age from about eight to twenty. (We were divided in three groups based upon the child's age). Ties had said that the single most important message your child can receive from a homeland journey is that "the people with whom he shares his heritage are warm, friendly, caring, genuine people." I can honestly say that this was the experience we found to be true. It's important to understand your child's level of maturity and to also schedule the visits of significance (birthparent / place of birth / foster parent / orphanage) that your child is ready for. The Ties Program assisted us every step of the way. You want to select a program that has an itinerary that suits your family and is flexible enough to allow visits of significance. While in country, you may want to change things in the schedule, so flexibility is important.
Our trip to South Korea began in Seoul and continued through the cities of Sokcho, coastal city of Busan, and Sean's city of birth Taegu. During the eleven days there were many points of interest visited: Korean Folk Village, Ester's Maternity House, Jacob's House (Orphanage), Kyongbok Palace, Dongdaemum Market, and Mt. Sorak. The food was delicious! Sean tried quite a few Korean dishes along the way, but he was happy to have a hamburger when we returned to the US!
We found the Korean people to be very kind and helpful. Near the end of our trip we had dinner with a host family. The display of food was breath taking- the mother cooked for two days to prepare. The most interesting part of the dinner was that we don't speak Korean and they knew very little English, but somehow we managed to communicate for about four hours. The father even taught us all how to draw bamboo with Indigo Art. (He gave us a full set to take back to the United States).
As I look back there are many highlights, but several really stand out. On our second day in Seoul, Sean took special notice of the fact that everyone looked like him and not like us. (He was very excited.) It made me feel so good to see him experience that feeling. Later that day we listened as Sean was talking to a Korean mother with two young kids. We heard Sean say, "Yes, I was born in Korea a long time ago. Now I live in the United States with my Mom and Dad (Jim and Vickie). They are standing over there." He sounded so proud of who he was!
If you ask Sean about his best memory he would probably say the visit to the DMZ. Sean loves the military and really wanted to visit the border. It was a bit nerve wracking as you have to show passports multiple times and follow strict orders. Good news is that no tourists have been killed at the border since the 80's! (I found that out when we were at the border.) Sean also loved the time he spent with the other Korean children on the Ties trip. The kids on our bus basically all camped out in the back of the bus together. They talked and played video games. He enjoyed just being with the other kids! We enjoyed talking with the other parents. There were so many of us that have been through the same experiences that it was great to share as we toured South Korea.
Honestly, I could go on and on about the trip! It was everything we had hoped it would be for Sean's first visit back to his country of birth and we do plan to visit South Korea again when Sean is older. The support we received from the Ties Group and other families on the trip was incredible. The key to a successful homeland tour is to plan ahead and talk to your child about the trip. We had discussed and planned this trip for about five years. (Sean was seven when we started talking to him about it.) For Sean, twelve was a great age. Whatever the age, you need to feel it is right for your child. Sean was excited about the trip because we were so anxious to see his country! If possible, I think that every child should have the option to visit his country of birth. It makes that place "real" in their mind. Sean still talks about visiting South Korea, and we discuss just when the right time might be to make another visit. He loved it so much that he was ready to go again this next summer!
