Some movies have adoption themes that can touch our children deeply. Unfortunately, movies donāt always deal with adoption in the most sensitive ways. But even when the treatment is positive, you never know when a portrayal of an adoption theme may trigger strong emotions in your child. In my house, we often rent or check out from the library videos of childrenās movies, which my daughter watches while I do other things. But Iām so glad that I sat down and watched Tarzan with her last month! I wasnāt even thinking about adoption; I just remembered loving Tarzan as a child. We were discussing the movie for hours afterward.

So, in that spirit, Iām introducing a new column in the AFT newsletter, to alert you to adoption themes in movies. These are not necessarily movies to avoid, but they are movies you may want to watch along with your child. Here are the suggestions that have come in so far from AFT members:

Elf Added 02/05

You would think I could be free of difficult adoption issues on Christmas Day, but no such luck. We sat down with the grandparents to watch a cute kidsā holiday movie and turned on Elf. The movie begins at an orphanage lined with cribs. A baby crawls into Santaās bag and ends up at the North Pole, where an elf (Bob Newhart) adopts him. Fast forward to when ćBuddyä (Will Ferrel) has grown up. Heās much larger than the other elves and not nearly as dexterous at making toys. Finally ćPapa Elf,ä his adoptive father, takes him aside and explains that Buddy is really a human, his mother is dead and his ćrealä father lives in New York City. Buddy immediately heads off for New York, where he bursts in on his biological father, declaring ćDaddy, I love you!ä My daughter and I did not like the movie at all and turned it off halfway through, so I canāt tell you how it ends. But it didnāt look like Buddy was ever going to return to the elves. Apparently adoptive fathers arenāt ćrealä in this movie. I think this is a very insensitive depiction of adoption, NOT recommended for adoptive families on Christmas day!

÷Pat W.

Babe

I remember that the first few minutes of the movie Babe shows puppies being sold on the roadside with a sign ĪAdopt a Puppyā (the pupsā mother died right at the beginning of the movie). One of the puppies is adopted and brought to a farm where one of the farm animals becomes his surrogate mother. Babe is the farmerās favorite pig who gets into a situation and is saved by the puppy. It is a good movie where the farm animals accept this puppy into their environment and the puppy sees these animals as Īfamily.ā The man is a bit of an outcast too, but doesnāt let the community change who he is.

÷Judi Z.

We own Babe on video and were just watching it last week. Babe has a lot of themes I like. The main one is that you can achieve things despite the expectations or stereotypes that people have of you. A lesser theme, but the adoption related one, is that you can be part of a family even if you werenāt born into it. Babe is a piglet that was won at a state fair and brought home to a small farm. He misses his mom, so the mother border collie on the farm takes care of him along with her puppies (the talking animal effects are very cool). There are times where Babe isnāt allowed to do things with the sheepdogs because heās a pig, but mostly he finds his place in the dog family (especially when the puppies are weaned and go live with other families) and on the farm. He goes on to become a ćsheep pigä and does great things. For little, little kids this movie might be a bit intense since they do delve into the realities of farm life, but itās one of my fave movies to watch with my kids (we usually end up talking about the issues in the movie). Iām a sucker for animals and sweet stories, so I always have the Kleenex handy when I watch this one.

÷Juli D.

Big Daddy

Donāt know if anybody has seen Big Daddy, but my Joe got it for a gift and I was a wreck just after looking at the outside of the box! Itās about a guy (Adam Sandler) who decides to adopt a child to show his girlfriend heās responsible. Great concept, huh? NOT! It starts really badly but actually does have some redeeming qualities when he turns out to be a decent guy. But there are lots of negative references to adoption issues. I was really glad we all watched it together, and it made for some interesting discussions! If anybody decides to see it, just be careful.

÷Sharon H.

Brother Bear

We own Brother Bear, so Iāve seen that one a few times. In the movie there are three brothers (young adults) who are part of a tribe. When one brother is killed by a bear, the other two try to avenge their brotherās death and kill the bear who killed their brother. One of the remaining brothers is turned into a bear by the spirit of the dead brother so that he can see life from the vantage point of the bear. ćBrother Bearä then meets up with an abandoned bear cub (who turns out to be the cub of the dead bear). He takes care of the bear cub and (with the help of the cub) learns a lesson about how bears and humans can live together. Overall the story has a nice premise, but does have some situations where parents might want to be there to answer their kidsā questions. In the end ćBrother Bearä decides to stay a bear when he has the option of turning human again. He decides the cub needs him more than his tribe does, and the tribe makes friends with both bears. I can see how it might be confusing to a child wondering why even a grown-up would choose not to stay with his original family.

÷Juli D.

Cheaper by the Dozen

This is not an adoption movie, but I found this interesting. We rented the recent version of Cheaper by the Dozen. One of the 12 kids is hassled by his siblings because heās not like the others (common theme in movies), but they didnāt rely on ćheās different so he must be adoptedä which so many movies do. The other kids still teased him, but instead said he must have been dropped off by FedEx. I still donāt love the idea of a kid having to be an outcast because heās different from his family, but I was surprised that the moviemakers were thoughtful enough not to rely on the old stand-by of ćmustāve been adopted.ä

÷Juli D.

Country Bears

We rented Country Bears, and while my kids loved it, I was concerned about the adoption approach in the movie. A boy bear is part of a human home. He realizes he is different and tries to figure out why. His human brother teases him about that and adoption is bought up. The parents deny it and react like that would not be a good thing. He goes off to find where he belongs, and the rest of the movie follows that. The negative part is primarily toward the beginning in a few scenes.

÷Elizabeth C.

Garfield

Garfield is a really cute movie. The main character is at his fat, arrogant best, and there are actually some good themes (concerning, for example, loyalty, jealousy, and friendship) that could be picked up on and worked into parent/child discussions. Unfortunately, however, it does use the word adoption to refer to the process by which people take pets into their homes and contains a scene in which cats at a shelter (including Garfield, who has been separated from his owner by a series of mishaps) are informed that ćadoptionä is happening and are lined up (ćpaws on the line and eyes looking straight aheadä) to find out if it is their ćlucky day.ä While the chosen cat is expected to look jubilant, the rest are returned to their cages (which, as Garfield has already pointed out, are uncomfortable). I suspect that, for some adopted children, this scene could prove disturbing. For that reason, I would suggest watching it (and enjoying the antics of the chubby lasagna-loving Garfield) together.

÷Cindy T.

Little Secrets

I was interested in your column on movies because I feel that movies can be a great springboard for discussion or can illustrate a point that cannot be described any other way. Itās also important for families to know which movies are most helpful for that. I recently saw a movie called Little Secrets starring Evan Rachel Woods. In it she plays a pre-adolescent girl who runs a neighborhood ćserviceä of keeping secrets for her friends (such as a broken family heirloom). We come to find out that she has a big secret of her own, that she was adopted. When she finds out that her mother has disclosed this to the family doctor during her pregnancy, she becomes angry at her mother for telling ćherä secret. The movie does not go deeply into adoption issues but is a movie that older adopted children can relate to.

÷Paula P.

Stuart Little

In the opening scenes of Stuart Little, the young parents go to an orphanage to ćpick outä a child to adopt. This will make you cringe a bit, but the part that really disturbs me comes in the middle of the film. Stuart, a mouse whoās been adopted by a human family, suddenly receives a visit from his birth parents. They tell Stuartās adoptive parents that they had been having a rough time when they placed Stuart for adoption, but now theyāre doing well and they want him back. Stuartās adoptive parents sadly decide itās best for Stuart to return to his birth family and send him off. (It turns out to be a scam, but of course no one thought to even check the identity of these two mice who showed up at the door.) This might be a movie to avoid altogether, but if your child sees this movie, you will need to do some explaining afterward about the permanence of adoption.

÷Pat W.

Snow Dogs

We were watching Snow Dogs the other day. Cuba Gooding finds out heās adopted and passes out in surprise. I tried to explain to my daughter that itās hard to find out youāre adopted when youāre all grown up, but I think she still internalized the message that adoption is somehow bad news.

÷Beth F.

Tarzan

In the first few minutes of the Disney animated version of this movie classic, we see a young couple and their baby shipwrecked on a jungle shore and building a treehouse. Then a gorilla hears the baby crying and goes to investigate, finding the parents dead and the child alone. The gorilla adopts the baby as her own, names him Tarzan, and raises him as a gorilla. As an adult, Tarzan meets other humans and must decide where he ćbelongs.ä At the end of the movie, he is with Jane but living with the gorillas as their new leader. The opening scenes of the abandoned, orphaned baby are incredibly poignant, and the later scenes of Tarzan struggling with issues of ćfamilyä are also emotional. I think itās a good movie, but definitely one to watch with your child.

÷Pat W.

If you know of another movie that has an adoption theme, please send a description of the movie to me, and Iāll print it in the next AFT newsletter. ÷Pat W.